This chapter is part of Part 1: Setup File.


Chapter Data
Date and Time 50,000,000,184 k180+524° 151' 227" [2]
Place Bonday Studios, 841,238th floor, Calendia, Pseudo
Code Block

"I am Sore#gane5oat, King of the Randoanl5, Prince of AOraon5se#e, and Supervisor of the 198th Legion!"

"Wait, that's a bit long isn't it?"

"Well, yes..."

"And what's with all those stupid hashes? How do you pronounce --"


The cameras stop rolling. Doroeste Ostajao Pasaru "Aldoren", now a perfectly respectable 905-year-old [3], walked to the director.

Speaker Action Spoken
Doroeste : Okay, now what?
Director : Look, I know you like to do this a lot, but please, I beg you, don't overdo the mocking. It's the 180,374th version, not any one of them starting with an underscore! [4]
Doroeste : I'm already trying to, if you aren't noticing!
Director : Yes, I am noticing, but to be absolutely honest to you, that isn't enough. Look, the time is prohibiting us from making another shot. Wait, what's the time?
Assistant : About 530 degrees, sir.
Director : See? That means that it's nearly night-time. We've ran out of night scenes. We'll have to call it a day. (To general mess of people behind him) Hey, we're done for the day. We'll do some more tomorrow!
Doroeste : That means that I can have my second shift right?
Director : What, Kalsunay? That old excuse again. "Second job, you say..." well, go ahead and move to your computer then.
Doroeste : I'll remind you that without the Kalšunay you will not be here.
Director : Yeah, whatever!

Doroeste left the house and went back to the ground floor. It took more than a minute just to get down a couple of hundred kilometers to the abyss below. Strangely enough when you reach the ground you'd thought that the building that you just exited is less than ten stories tall. The trick is, of course, that the rest of the buildings are built right into a pocket dimension. It took thousands of tries to perfect this technique, and not all of them are exactly without bloodshed. You would have thought that talking about this is a major faux pas in these parts, but you'd be wrong. These guys are surprisingly okay with a lot of things. You can talk about wars that have massive amounts of things that we Earthlings will find revolting like vivisections, terrorism and ethnic cleansing, and they won�t bat an eyelid. They'd probably have these things for breakfast.

It looks like a traffic jam. Interesting; you'd have thought that cars have been superseded. Doesn't matter; there's always the teleporter. It may be a complete nightmare to operate, but once you've been through all the parameters and controls transportation would be instant! Or at least as fast as c. The researchers haven't thought of a way to bend the laws of physics enough to induce the required loopholes.

But really now? Not only is the system difficult to get around, it is also extremely boring. As money has been thrown in the dusts and sands (and maybe a couple rocks and the odd mesa as well) of history, the only problem are the sands themselves, and in a world where time can go in any direction possible that's no problem. The metro seems to be a good choice. Nice views all around (it promotes itself as "the only type of terrestrial transport with an all-angle view"), lots of connected stations so you can go in all places possible, and of course it's also extremely quiet and quick, traveling at speeds over 100 km/h. The only reason that it doesn't go any faster is because the stations are too close to each other to keep the top speed for any noticeable length. The Village Line and the Eastern Reaches Line, both stretching way outside the furthest reaches of District 10, serve the small villages and medium towns that settle nearby, and those, with enormous leg room, can exceed 300 km/h for at least half the journey, and over 500 km/h at the midpoints between stations.

Calendian Metro Full

Figure 1: The Calendian Metro Network (CMN). Doroeste is on the Vríska South Station. Also pictured: large.

Living, like the bulk of the population of the city, in the 7th District off to the East, beyond the monster building that is the Loganar Complex and the Lustinan Park just to the south of Loganar. There are so many neighborhoods there of so many types and styles that it can be the setting of 59 billion movies and no one will notice that they are less than three kilometers away.

The routine again. Sometimes it gets tiresome. Get into the station. Through the gates. Down a floor. Wait for the train. Then get into the train. Then?


  1. The direct translation is the 97th “the Dark and Dangerous Sehonta (a name) in Genehironsalten (a place), using the eighteenth revamp of the 180,374th version of the plot. Rather using the Trolls’ way of making movies have names the size of their novelizations, they simply snagged two more numbers on the end.
  2. The Pseudoan timekeeping system works like this: there are 714 days in the year, 1080 daħe (degrees) in the day, 360 ilostoy (minutes) in a daħe and 300 takóŕi (seconds) in the ilostoy. The 714 days are usually not categorized, but occasionally broken up into 14 dostey of 35 days each. The dostey are named as well, but in an irregular manner. This is extremely similar to the way that Pseudoans measure angles, having a 1080-360-300 system where our 360-60-60 system is.
  3. Average life expectancy: 1 billion years.
  4. Version numbers with an underscore are defined to be parodies. The term is BoranRudanKander, version of the low line.


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