• Time: 50,000,000,184 k180+699° 232' 184"
  • Place: Doroeste's type-4 flat
  • Character Set: Block

Once DeklostekonsadoAronstetugolasten18347.cpf was downloaded it was decompressed and loaded up automatically. The first one, YodukolostorihalodokaYeristovriskantaoso.txt read:


This set of files is used in order to help you with communication. Only a select few Instant Message Programs are allowed access into the game that you are about to enter. You will see more when you enter them. In the meantime, you might want to minimize your computer. You know, have it made smaller so that you can carry it around.

Balosoke (EvistosteKelostreDise)

The second one is a program, YokandsotkeBíloyækontusa.exe. Like all .exes, the program does a funny little animation, twirling a little bit, before for some inexplicable reason bouncing out of the screen as a small round ball (color and size varies with program) and then falling back into the screen, first bouncing up and down like its gravity settings were messed up, and then gradually melting into the screen. In about ten seconds the program is integrated into the program like it's always been there.

The program doesn't run all by itself; it used to be, but then Doroeste decided against it because he felt like doing something by himself for once. When run, it introduced itself as "YokandsotkeBíloyækontusa.exe" which is Extended Egonyota Pasaru [1] for "Friend Communication".

The next one was BíloyækontusadoVulansedanyekutos.rtf -- Friend List.rtf. In it were a couple of colored names, and an instruction:

[...]Es across the line. (You might be reminded of your home continent's name when you hear 12its name -- that is entirely coincidental and not at all artificial). Often excitable, use a light tone (should be no more than -180,440 on the serious scale) to communicate with 12it. Aforementioned Es will often fill the screen with their detritus of hyphens so as to create the illusion of GlosteSort (tridents). Has relationships with Jēridān (Eridan).

What you do:

Enter these names into the appropriate field in YokandsotkeBíloyækontusa. The colors will add themselves in. These are in Yestokure (language used in the northeastern quadrant of the sole continent of the planet of Alterniyë). One of the owners of the handles listed in this text file will message you using this program exactly 37' 57" after you completed the action. They know because they also have 3T [2].

"The appropriate field" was under Action -> Contacts -> Add... -> Add multiple contacts. Curiously, the twelve names listed only have two letters as their shortening -- much, much shorter than the 5 or 6 character initials that he usually has to work with.

The keyboard was the desk, which means that often he had to reach around the various things he put on it and even under it in order to reach the right keys, which list the 10,000-odd most used phonetic characters [3] with the less commonly known planets' scripts further away. Alterniyë is a very obscure planet.

It took a lot of fiddling, but in a couple degrees all the names are filled in. After 37' 57"?


(Footnotes start at 9 in this chapter.)

  1. Known to most of the populace as "jargon", Extended Egonyota Pasaru takes regular words and then made them more than twice as long to obfuscate their meaning. This is so that data will be harder to interpret for those who are not versed in it, but even when its main purpose was lost a couple hundreds of thousands of kilometers south of the aforementioned mesa, the Pseudoans kept it just because.
  2. EEP for Trans-Temporal Technology.
  3. Should Doroeste flip to "ideographic and logographic characters" keyboard, the keyboard will fill the rest of the wall that's nearest to the computer.
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